Photos and Words of Patrick Calder

I live in Washington, DC with 1 cat named Pixel, 6 cameras, 3 computers, 158 movies, 286 books, and 1 bowling pin. I own the Design Foundry and pretend to be a graphic designer by day.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 3 years old. Opinions change. Tastes change. Everything changes. I may still agree with or like this, or I may not. But everything is kept up here for archival purposes.

Facts of Life / July 20, 2006

Three things you should never buy the cheap brand of:
1. Peanut Butter – Store brand is just a greasy, tasteless, slimey, grainy mess. Sure, there’s no peanuts in the name brand stuff. But who fucking cares? You’re not buying peanut butter for it’s natural wholesomeness.
2. Shoes – Sketchers makes really cool looking shoes, and boots, and sneakers. And they’re cheap! But they’re also crap, IMO. The soles start wearing down in less than a week. The padding collapses in a month. And the body tears away from the sole. Good boots should stick with you for longer than 6 months. I also used to buy the cheap TeVa knock-offs from Walmart and Kmart once a year. They would last me 1 good season before the straps decayed and the soles split down the middle. Then I got stuck in an overpriced department store that only had the real thing, so I plopped down $60 for a fucking pair of sandals. And they lasted me 7 years, before the smell and street-grime build-up got to be too much. Really… never fuck with your feet or your throat, because they will both wear out the entire rest of your body damn quick, and make you suffer.
3. Toilet Paper – It probably ought to go without saying… but do you really wanna be rubbing something the consistency of construction paper across your backside on a regular basis?
This has been a recording. We hope you enjoyed your life lessons for today, and now return you to your regularly schedule porn and circuses.

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