Photos and Words of Patrick Calder

I live in Washington, DC with 1 cat named Pixel, 6 cameras, 3 computers, 158 movies, 286 books, and 1 bowling pin. I own the Design Foundry and pretend to be a graphic designer by day.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 3 years old. Opinions change. Tastes change. Everything changes. I may still agree with or like this, or I may not. But everything is kept up here for archival purposes.

An open letter to women / November 2, 2007

This is an open letter to almost every woman I’ve ever met. It’s certainly specific to every woman I’ve dated, and even several of my friends recently. It’s not for one specific person, but there are certainly several people it can apply to.
You simply don’t get to be upset that I haven’t fixed a problem you never told me about. Or more realistically… you don’t get to expect me to feel bad about it. I didn’t know it existed… I couldn’t even contemplate it much less solve it.
And no… “I should have known” is not acceptable. If you have a problem, it’s your responsibility to bring it up. And no; hints and insinuations and a cold shoulder are not acceptable substitutes. I, and from what I can tell – most men, simply do not get a hint. Ever. At all. Period. This is not an exaggeration. There are no exceptions. I mean any hint. EVER. Period. Zero. Zilch.
I’ll be the first one to agree I can be an asshole. I can be insensitive. I can be inappropriate. But if I am one of those things, tell me. Because if you hold it in and it makes your life hell in some way, and you come back to me weeks, months, or years later… I am not going to feel bad. And that’s only going to make you more upset… to which, I repeat… I won’t feel bad.

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