happiness

I’m conflicted.

It was easier to deal with being a clueless fuck-up, while dating. When things fell apart, I could look and say “Wow… I was an idiot there… shouldn’t have done that.” But it seems to suck a lot more when a productive, meaningful relationship falls apart. There’s nothing simple and detached to blame. It’s just a loss of something really good.

So… as this occurred to me, I’m of course thinking how much easier it all once was. But at the same time, I am also going through some photo archives. And when I got more than a couple years back in the archives, it got kind of depressing. I had some great times. But my life was stagnant back then, for so many years. To look back and see it in full color… it’s disheartening.

So I can’t take solace in the past nor the present. And it seems the price for higher highs is lower lows.

Okay… pretty photo chaser:

Mockingbird Chick

Patrick Calder Written by:

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