An open letter to women | 11/02/07

This is an open letter to almost every woman I’ve ever met. It’s certianly specific to every woman I’ve dated, and even several of my friends recently. It’s not for one specific person, but there are certianly several people it can apply to. You simply don’t get to be upset that I haven’t fixed a problem you never told me about. Or more realistically… you don’t get to expect me to feel bad about it. I didn’t know it existed… I couldn’t even contemplate it much less solve it. And no… “I should have known” is not acceptable. If you have a problem, it’s your responsibility to bring it up. And no; hints and insinuations and a cold shoulder are not acceptable substitutes. I, and from what I can tell - most men, simply do not get a hint. Ever. At all. Period. This is not an exaggeration. There are no exceptions. I mean any hint. EVER. Period. Zero. Zilch. I’ll be the first one to agree I can be an asshole. I can be insensitive. I can be inappropriate. But if I am one of those things, tell me. Because if you hold it in and it makes your life hell in some way, and you come back to me weeks, months, or years later… I am not going to feel bad. And that’s only going to make you more upset… to which, I repeat… I won’t feel bad.

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about me

Patrick Calder grew up in central NY and moved to Washington, DC in 1997, where he now lives with his attack cat Pixel.

Patrick is the founder and proprietor of The Design Foundry, a graphic design studio that produces brochures, websites, reports, logos, and more for a wide range of clients in every public and private sector.

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