"Give me fire"

Email me. Mail me mail me mail me.

I love getting email. Anything real, and not written by some demon-spawned, ass-smelling, spam-writing computer. And a couple times a month, I do get letters from complete strangers who simply read something here that excited/annoyed/sickened/fellatiated them.

(Is fellatiated a word? And if not, damn well should be.)

Write me anything. It's such a good feeling knowing there are still real people out there, and not just lots and lots of penis and breast enlargement packages simply waiting for a nod from me to be shipped out super extra mega RUSH delivery to help me out just in time for the date I'll get due to my new herbal regimen.

And if your the girl I just handed the napkin to... please write me and tell me you love me. :)

She was wearing a orange bikini thing. About five-foot nothing. I'm sure she had beautiful hair and eyes, but I couldn't tell you anything about them.

She must be friends with one of my neighbors. This morning while taking the cat shit to the trash shoot, i glanced at the elevators, and nearly ran into the wall. She was kind of tall, and thin. Dark hair. Gray t-shirt a couple sizes too small but somehow just right. And dark oh-so-very string bikini bottoms.

Do you ever think I have been without a girlfriend for too long? Must be. I can't remember which one was the last one.