home: August 2005 Archives

I was offered a job as an Orgasm Fairy, the other day. Apparently, I am #5 on a google search for the term "Orgasm Fairy".

So I got that going for me.

Then again, every time I check my stats, someone has found this site by searching for the term "fucking little girls".

Ew.

But you know... I’ve still got the hookers for neighbors. Call girls, I guess, since they seem to operate primarily on an in-call basis. I’ve gotten in the habit of looking at the guest sign-in whenever I stop at the front desk, just to see how many visitors they’ve had. Um... so to speak.

But yeah... they apparently tried to lure the Cleaning Lady into working for them. I find it a little funny. She’s not ugly... but I don’t know if I would pay for sex with her. She probably doesn’t have the temperament, anyway. Just being asked was so traumatic that she immediately ran to the assistant manager to report it. It’s the worst kept secret in the building, that they’re working up there. But if they start making life difficult for other people, they may find themselves out on the street. This time, in daylight.

Besides the fact that hookers do laundry all the time, apparently it’s common to order everything C.O.D. Besides being amazed that anyone even offers C.O.D. shipping anymore, I find it interesting. I guess this isn’t a job were you want to leave a huge paper trail. Just the other week, a UPS guy came by with another such package. It was his third and final attempt at delivery. The one girl finally answered the door, stark naked, presumably expecting a customer. She quickly jumped behind the door, though certain body parts kept slipping out. Man... is that the start to every bad porno, or what?

Meant to get this updated look for the website up yesterday. I had the template basically done. But Pixel wanted to play, and I wound up going to Chiaroscuro with Kier again. Kelowna seemed to have a good night. Dancing and spinning. Taking all kinds of pictures, including one she ran over to show me, of all the dancers spinning around me. Finished off the night pretty well, too, from the looks of it.

I didn't see Kris there. Although, I did learn that her name was Kris. So that's something. She was always the-girl-in-the-sports-bra. Until someone pointed out last week that she was also the girl I met at a home farewell party, who gave me a lift home, a couple months back. Weird... never saw the connection. Probably wouldn't have known what to say in the truck home. 'Cause... you know... I got those mad people skills.

But we did have more faux lesbians last night. And we all agreed that beats sitting home on the couch watching TV any night.

Desk for Sale

About the Person

Patrick Calder is a graphic designer living in Washington, DC with one attack cat. He owns and operates The Design Foundry, a design studio in downtown DC. He takes pictures in his free time, and dreams of one day being an adult.

About this Archive

This page is a archive of entries in the home category from August 2005.

home: July 2005 is the previous archive.

home: June 2006 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.