intangibles: April 2002 Archives

I had a dream saturday night. Weekends are the only times I have any hope of remembering my dreams. Once the alarm wakes me on the weekdays, I forget anything that was running through my mind.

This time I fell in love.

I don't remember her name. And the location was pretty fluid. My dreams tend to have all the realism of a Salvador Dali painting. But she was incredibly cute, with an evil grin. She did her best to take advantage of me.

If you think the worst thing in the world is to love someone and lose them, try falling in love with a dream. At least in real life you can go to sleep to escape the loss.

I am...

nothing.

I have no strong feelings in any direction (other than to castrate the asshole revving his engine out on the street at 11 at night).

I am neither happy or sad, excited or bored. I've tried just vegitating in front of the television, but found I had to get up and do something. Of couse, I look around for a while and found I had nothing to do.

Man, I'm not even in the mood to download pornography. What is my world coming to?

It did just occur to me, that I seem to have broken out of my mood swings. I can't remember the last time I was in a serious funk. And I haven't been especially hyper or horney about anything in months. (Which isn't to say my libido is dead... we're talking a matter of degrees here).

I don't know why, but this is a very good thing. I ccertianly wouldn't say that I'm becoming mellow or anything. More like I am once again remembering who I am.

30 days baby... then I'm free. (After all, I'm pretty cheap already.)