Recently in sex Category

I took this about a block from my apartment yesterday. I was getting out of the house for a mental break, and thinking that I needed to photograph something for my daily shot. I had just started literally looking around me, when I saw this sign.

Some things never change, in this neighborhood.

Email me. Mail me mail me mail me.

I love getting email. Anything real, and not written by some demon-spawned, ass-smelling, spam-writing computer. And a couple times a month, I do get letters from complete strangers who simply read something here that excited/annoyed/sickened/fellatiated them.

(Is fellatiated a word? And if not, damn well should be.)

Write me anything. It's such a good feeling knowing there are still real people out there, and not just lots and lots of penis and breast enlargement packages simply waiting for a nod from me to be shipped out super extra mega RUSH delivery to help me out just in time for the date I'll get due to my new herbal regimen.

And if your the girl I just handed the napkin to... please write me and tell me you love me. :)

She was wearing a orange bikini thing. About five-foot nothing. I'm sure she had beautiful hair and eyes, but I couldn't tell you anything about them.

She must be friends with one of my neighbors. This morning while taking the cat shit to the trash shoot, i glanced at the elevators, and nearly ran into the wall. She was kind of tall, and thin. Dark hair. Gray t-shirt a couple sizes too small but somehow just right. And dark oh-so-very string bikini bottoms.

Do you ever think I have been without a girlfriend for too long? Must be. I can't remember which one was the last one.

It is a bit of a running joke in my family, that around the holidays, whenever someone asks what I would like, I always tell them "Cindy Crawford" or "Julia Roberts". How I've managed to make it this long without receiving a life size cutout or blow-up doll of one of these women is beyond me.

I must say, that if I am forced to choose between the two, Cyndi has just climbed the ladder a few notches. I caught a clip of her on television licking her own nose.

There is a great potential for talent in a woman like this.

women. females. the unknown sex. girls.

They're all full of shit.

Talking with a woman I work with, ...

"Do you have your son this weekend?"

"Nope. He's with his father."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, just relaxing. You?"

"Nothing special."

5 minutes later...

"Want to stop for a drink?"

"Sorry, I have to get home and pay the babysitter."

Man, that kid got home fast. I wouldn't feel as bad if this was the first time I've tried this.

Masochism. It's what's for dinner.

so i got home and there is a sample magazine in my mail box with a bunch of women in leather swimsuits on the cover

do they know me or what?

This woman sat down next to me on the subway today. An amazingly beautiful woman. Thin, athletic body. Quirky smile. Worn out jeans, boots, and small white T-shirt.

Of course I didn't talk to her.

"When I do finally torture, medicate or hypnotize someone into manipulating my bits , the police will find our remains blasted into the walls by ballistic semen."

"And I am forced to suffer this in a city where I can fall in love eighty times a day just by stepping out onto the street and opening my eyes."

"You will pay."

-- last 3 paragraphs courtesy of Spider Jeruselum, I Hate it Here