I’ve heard it said time and again, that your life and personality are shaped by the events you experience. Less seldom said, and what I have distinctly noticed as of late, is that your life is shaped by the people in it.

I remember the people that sat at my table in kindergarten, including the girl who used to show off her muscles by flexing her arms. I remember my first real friend, and all the times we drove our parents nuts. I remember the bully in high school, and the day I stood up for myself. I remember my first girlfriend; who doesn’t remember her. I remember my first love, and how much it hurt when I lost her.

And now, while I am starting my life anew, all alone, I am slowly realizeing who were my true friends, and those who were even closer than friends. Who was there when Anita died. Who listened to me for those long, repetitive nights after Lara left me. Who was willing to admit they loved me.

I can no longer touch any of these people. The closest of them is 300 away. I have to stop myself everyday from buying a ticket to Rochester, and hiding on Lea’s bed for a few more weeks. But those closest to me are still there. Still in me, helping to make my decisions, making me realize what I really want out of life, without being able to say a word to each other.