Flash and Bang

Just to start off on the right foot…
Some of you out there really make me fucking sick. Two days ago there were two major stories in the news:

  1. A truck bomb is set off in front of the local UN headquarters in Baghdad. 20 people are killed and over a hundred are injured.
  2. A drunk bride in East Bumpafuck tries to steal booze from the caterer and ends up getting busted.

And god help me, but for a day and a half, the bigger news story was the bimbo with the bottle. Even Jay Leno was making fun of it.
It’s not even worth lecturing how ridiculous that #2 was a news story AT ALL.. But the fact that any newscaster had the cahones to mention it in the same broadcast as the attack on the UN… well… calling it sad is not even in the ballpark.
Diplomacy has been under attack for a couple decades now. Embassies and Diplomats have been the foundation of international relations for hundreds of years. They’re the basis of civilized interaction among nations and states. How many wars must have been averted, and how many lives saved, by the last minute talk at an embassy.
And the ONLY thing that makes Embassies and Diplomats special is their immunity to external pressures. The cannot be tried under local laws. Their property is sovereign to their own nation. And they must not be subjects of military assault.
But assaulted is just what they have been, for several decades now. How many embassies have been bombed in the last 10 years? How many diplomatic teams have been assaulted, abducted, and killed?
The UN is the epicenter of the Diplomatic ideal. No longer is each nation required to maintain expensive embassies in every other country. Everyone can come together in one place to express themselves.
And two days ago, the epitome of the untouchable foundation of civilization was blown the fuck up.

And in more news today, the USA annexes the U.N.
Apparently.
Press release out of Washington indicates that the assault ‘on american forces in Iraq’ has changed from guerilla, one-on-one assaults, to large scale terrorist attacks.

For those of you who remember Afghanistan, and how we kicked butt over there…
More than 60 people have died in the last week in military and guerilla assaults.
And this is the country where we have declared success.

What complete fucking loser thought up the idea of FlashMobs?
The name FlashMobs could on have come from the fact that a lot of people show up in one place quickly and stand around for a few minutes. That, though, is called being a loser with too much time on your hands.
Some people have the belief that this is some amazing modern event.
Why?
You get a message to go do something boring in a couple days with a bunch of strangers. That’s not modern… that’s a tupperware party.
EVERY fucking person on earth but me has a cell phone. Set up phone trees and arrange these meetups only an hour or two beforehand. And the whole ‘standing around’ thing…. it’s no longer irony. It’s you trying to wear the cool clothes six months too late.
Years ago, people held sudden, unexpected parties on subway trains. That was 20 times cooler than these flashmobs.
Gather people and do something meaningful. Do something adventurous. Be pissed off and do something vocal.
When the White House threatens to invade Luxembourg, arrange massive protests within the hour, and tell InternationalANSWER to go fuck themselves and their collection bins.

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