Photos and Words of Patrick Calder

I live in Washington, DC with 1 cat named Pixel, 6 cameras, 3 computers, 158 movies, 286 books, and 1 bowling pin. I own the Design Foundry and pretend to be a graphic designer by day.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 3 years old. Opinions change. Tastes change. Everything changes. I may still agree with or like this, or I may not. But everything is kept up here for archival purposes.

Life is hard. / May 28, 2013

It’s hard, right now.

It’s been almost a year since Heidi broke things off. And I am still living there, for various reasons. And I think we both try really hard to make the best of it. But life is life. There will be good times and bad times. But because you know each other so well, the good times will be really good. And the bad times… they will be really bad.

And I don’t have a way to let much of it out. There are the occasional friends who go way out of their way to help, which I love. But due to location, distance, or being busy trying to contribute what I can to the house, I don’t get to be very social. I think some people understand and some people aren’t sure if I’m withdrawing from them.

And of course I’m trying to buy the house, which I recently wrote about the process of. And it’s hard. I’ve had the contract on that house almost 9 months. 9 months of waiting. People hear that, and they’re shocked and aghast and very supportive. But the bad part is not that it’s been 9 months. It’s that it’s been 9 months in 2 week intervals. “We’re almost there… wait… just a little longer. We’re almost there… wait… just a little longer. We’re almost there… wait… just a little longer.” For 9 months. I hate this whole thing, now.

And I have some wonderful people in my life. But some of those relationships have their own drama attached, which is even leaking into otherwise happy portions of my life. If everything else in my life was good, I probably wouldn’t care. But fuck it… not gonna screw up wonderful things because some third party has issues.

It’s hard, right now. No details. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings with anger or revealing too many personal details. But dammit…

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