trimming the family tree

i can’t think of anything to write. i can’t think of anything to write. i can’t think of anything to write.
I had an English professor in college who had us keeping a daily journal. Told us even if we couldn’t think of a word to write, we should fill a page with “i cant think of anything to write.”.
I can’t say this was the brightest professor in the bunch. A lot of the time, I would sit down before class, and fill one page with “i cant think of anything to write.”, then change pens. I would fill another page with “i cant think of anything to write.”, annd change pens again. You get the idea.
And to think I got some bad grades in college.
This just comes to mind because I’m not really in the mood to write, but I have to. Otherwise I go stale. I’ve found just rambling here keeps my imagination going in almost every area; a very important thting since I make my living in a creative industry.
I guess coming up with all the new synonyms for “stupid” that I use here really makes my brain sweat.
There are things I don’t really talk about here. They ussually have to do, in some negative fashion, with people who are very close to me. Because those are the very people who are mostly reading this. But it leaves the whole thing kind of stale at times.
My first reaction, of course, is to just say “screw those people” and write whatever I want. Some of them would take it in stride I’m sure. But there are those who already view my ramblings as more than a bit vitriolic. I know I would be persona non grata at most family functions if I started discussing the theatre of the miseries that many of my mother’s relatives seem to be.
But at the same time, I don’t even really discuss the good things. The other half of my family, being the other half of this coin. Despite my father being dimly viewed by so many in my mothers family, his own family is incredibly optimistic and outgoing. I don’t remember the last time Ruth stopped smiling. Gary brought together the senior citizens home known as his siblings after most of them hadn’t seen eachother in decades. And the announcements I get are in the form of wedding announcements and births and such.
These are all important people and important event’s to me. They’ll be left out less here. And I find after writing all this, I’m not really worried if they’ll be offended. I’m not planning on airing godawful (and damn boring) dirty laundry here. So if you see your name here and think I’ve talked too strongly about you, you either know how I feel about you and nothing will have changed, or you don’t know me well enough to begin with.
And considering what it takes to get me to shut up, I doubt that it’s my fault.

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