
Chinese New Years Parade
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
This a day after watching Syriana, where it was a major plot point: “China has signed an agreement with Saudi Arabia that may boost Beijing’s purchases of Saudi oil. The deal came during a visit by Saudi King Abdullah to the Chinese capital.” — Voice of America
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
There is something so wrong about sitting here on a Friday night in my pajamas, doing nothing.
I should have painted. Or at least sketched. (God forbid I should go out). But I was full of self-pity, so I played video games instead. Games are my little mental anesthesia. I feel completely brain dead by the time I’m done. Bad for art. Good for distress.
You know… I think I’m starting to understand the New York City subways a bit. The first step, as with anything else, is to discard your ideas of how complicated they are in the first place. All human interaction with our environment is based on symbols. So trying to figure out things like traffic patterns and transit networks is no different. If one level of information is too complex, make it more abstract. (In my home town, I would watch every car on the street to decide what to do. Here in DC, I watch the lanes.) Once I’m on the train, I’m set. But… you know… figuring out how to get to the right train? I’m completely fucked. So I still gotta work on that.
Did I mention I was in NYC again last weekend?
I was dragged out there by a brutal woman who didn’t care how busy I was.
(kidding!)
I was dragged out there by a beautiful woman who I’d been anxious to see now that she was ‘free’ again from visitors.
As much of a panic as they caused me, I really do love the Chinatown busses. They ferry people literally from the streets of one city to the streets of another. No terminals. No kiosks. No signs. No uniforms. Pay $17.50 and you’ll be 300 miles away by the time anyone notices. Okay… I probably should have thought more about how crowded a Friday afternoon shuttle was going to be. But still… I caught the second bus I tried for, and was only about 2 and a half hours behind schedule. The Washington Deluxe route lets you off at 34th and 8th; right across from the New Yorker hotel. This was the first place I ever stayed in NYC. It has a certain freaky grandeur. The neighborhood scared the shit out of me back then. But time has changed the place, and Friday night in that little corner of Manhattan is loud and bright. Busier, in fact, than during the day. (I’d had paranoid day dreams about sparsely populated sidewalks leaving me standing out like a purple elephant, with a sign saying “mug the tourist”.)
We went into Brooklyn on this trip, to see a jazz concert at the music conservatory. Apparently I’m working my way through the city one borough at a time. I can see what so many long-time NYC residents like about Brooklyn, though. What tiny bits I caught sight of through the rain (and rain, and rain, and rain…) and greasy taxi windows reminded me of all the character of Manhattan, but shrunk down to a human scale. (Well… once you’re away from the bridges, anyway). I actually felt safer walking to the subway after the show there, than I do most places in DC after dark. Could have just been blissful ignorance, though.
Earlier that afternoon, we went to the MoMA, to see the Pixar exhibit. The exhibit itself was fun, and certainly makes me want to see some of their movies that I’ve missed. But I was mostly impressed by some of the pre-production artwork. I was surprised how many early character designs were done as traditional collages. I haven’t seen anyone use the technique for practical purposes in what must be forever. (No. Photoshop doesn’t count.) Other than that, I probably enjoyed the color studies the most. Blocking out entire movies in highly abbreviated, highly abstracted scenes on long scrolls of paper. This great, super-condensed chunk of pop culture and art and motion and…
I got to indulge my New York City fetish on the way home, as we walked through Koreatown and stopped to pick up dinner from Madison Square Garden. Did I mention I have a serious thing for Asian pears? But since they’re roughly the size of a softball and weigh over a pound each, I didn’t think packing them home on the bus was going to work. At least not with my backpack already full of shit.
I pick on Indri, for sleeping late and taking so long to get ready to go out. In DC, thats a very ‘suburban’ thing. But until I sat here writing, tonight, it didn’t occur to me how much we did once the day finally geared up. Up through Rockafeller Center, MoMA, Koreatown, Dinner, Concert, Movie. That is very NOT suburban. And that was just us, having a slow weekend, and a sick host to boot.
My only deep regret is a lack of photos. The weather outside was primarily miserable the entire weekend. Friday and Saturday were all about rain, and Sunday was cold enough to stop me in my tracks, literally. A few pictures of Indri, of course. But otherwise, nothing. I really need to go back when the weather is less horrid, and I have time to wander.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
I’ve talked much shit, in person and in this journal, about the strength necessary to work for yourself. The ability to even conceive of something so outside the social norm. The necessity of having the skills and contacts to implement any such idea. The intestinal fortitude necessary to deal with the overwhelming incompetence and bureaucracy you’re bound to face. The natural assumption—and admittedly most often result—of a successful attempt at controlling your whole life instead of just 16 hours of it, is a wonderful sense of accomplishment and self-worth. Like you’ve broken out and are now master of your destiny. But few good things don’t have a darker side to them. In what passes for one of my more sullen moments recently, I thought about what that control actually meant. My greatest fear since going out on my own has been failure, resulting in ending up living on the street. It’s not a fear I can simply ignore. The street very literally looms large in my life, just outside my giant bay windows. I cannot walk more than a block anywhere in this city without being pan-handled to by someone supposedly living on the street, with thoughts of “There but for the grace of some desperate clients…”. It’s a simple enough fear on it’s own; really not just limited really to people who work for them-self. But I think the limited—very limited— success I have had so far (knock wood) makes it all the more vibrant. I’ve proven that I can control my own life successfully. But the street is still out there. Not everyone who ends up there fell on hard times. Some people went there with conscious effort. The temptation is ALWAYS there not to do the more unpleasant tasks. Not to deal with the difficult people. Not to make the awkward calls. While I, and most people that would be considered mentally healthy, choose to live a cleaner, more peaceful lifestyle, complete control really means complete control. There’s no safety net… no business or social requirements that keep me off the street, anymore.
“Beware the dark side, Luke”
Morbid and ridiculous, I know. So I often pull myself away from the window with a bit too much force, and look at my apartment. And I think about how much crap I have. Things unnecessary to every day life. And if I ever did end up out of here, how much would I regret that DVD, or those new jeans, or… Certainly inspires some serious cleaning and purging binges. And makes me cringe every time I get a frivolous, meaningless gift.
I have no doubt I am seriously fucked up. But then… would I be better off worrying about mortgage payments and what Allison thinks of me?
Of course, when I look at my cat, nothing in the world can keep me from smiling.
*Editor’s Note: No… I wasn’t particularly depressed when I wrote this. I had intended to write many things that night, which had been building up over the holidays. But when finger was put to keyboard, that’s all that came out.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
I’m loath to write too much about Indri. I don’t want to seem obsessive. But she didn’t seem happy that I edited her out of my last post. It really was just because I thought the writing was bad.
“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.”
It amounted to Indri being very inquisitive. It’s not a trait she’s proud of. Fear of being pushy, I suppose. But I love it. When she’s in that moment, she’s got the unashamed curiosity of a little child. (Again with the “cute” shit). It’s also nice to see someone unconcerned about admitting they don’t know something. Nothing makes for a better conversationalist than someone asking questions. And — personal preference — I like nothing more in another person than the ability to hold an interesting discussion.
There were other parts — other thoughts — that reinforced all this. But I haven’t figured out how to convey those thoughts well, yet. (I really wanna sleep).

I’m leaving for New York in about 2… 2 and a half hours. I’ll no doubt be very cranky for lack of sleep. But then again… I am going to New York. I probably won’t stand out.
I’ll miss Pixel. But other than that, this trip will give me good reason to ignore my clients. Stupid thought occurred to me today: There is really no time whatsoever where I can say “Yay! No more work. All free now to do something completely unproductive.”. Not that I don’t slack occasionally. Just that it’s is always a trade-off now. There’s no completely free time left in my life.
All in how you look at it, I guess.
Made another minor discovery about two days ago.I have been doing my second-best to try and avoid concentrated sugar — mainly in candy. There’s not a whole lot of noticeable effect, day to day, other than the occasional need to fight down a urge for chocolate. I still obtain candy, occasionally, such as the package of gourmet sweets given to me by a business contact recently. Couldn’t let it go to waste. But I was getting headaches every day. Occurred to me the only days I was getting headaches were those days I was eating a lot of chocolate or candy. Left the candy alone for the last 2 days. No headaches.
(Somewhere out there, Indri is going “duh!”)
(Somewhere out there, Sara is going “duh!”)
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Slowly catching up on work. I’ll still be busy through at least the end of the year. And I’ve had two potentially lucrative referrals in the past week, which won’t kick in until after the holidays. And still a dozen jobs on back burners.
No… I don’t have a personal life. Why do you ask?
I think I will have to institute some news rules, for a couple clients. I still very much want to be available whenever and wherever my clients need me. But some of them seem to take more advantage of that than others. If you call me at 11:30 PM, it better be a major deadline. If the only time you call me, it’s after 7 PM on a weekday or before 9 AM on a weekend, you better be paying me well, on a regular basis. I can deal with the occasional or irregular call or email. Hell… email at 3 AM on Christmas for all I care. I can ignore those. But I think I’m going to have to set thresholds for proper communication, and when a client exceeds those limits within a specific range of time, I’ll stop taking their calls at unreasonable hours. You can leave a message, and I’ll get back to you at the next possible chance. I’m not trying to punish the clients. The major benefit will actually be keeping me from cringing every time my phone rings, and getting snarky with clients who are paying me good money.
And god’s honest truth… if you’re going to hire someone to do work for you, you should really be AT LEAST as prepared as you expect them to be. Really nothing irks me more than to have clients repeatedly come to me, completely unprepared, needing rushed work, with specs that change every couple hours… and come back again, and again, and again,… in the same manor. Do you have any idea how much money and time you could save; how much better the quality of your finished product would be… if you simply planned ahead far enough? I’m not asking anyone to be anally organized. But don’t tell me you need an ad in 3 hours and expect me to write it and design it. Don’t tell me the black and white tri-fold brochure we abandoned weeks ago now will be an 8-page letter-sized booklet in full color going to press tomorrow. And god… if you really can’t help yourself… don’t balk when I charge you less than any other respectable designer would for half as much work. I want to do the best work possible for you. All I ask in exchange is enough to live comfortably. And my standards for comfort are pretty damn low.
Eh.
I had a good weekend. Holiday dinner with friends on Friday night, followed by ice cream cones in 20 degree weather, and the biggest love sac I’ve ever seen. (It may have even given Kier a back injury). It’s nice seeing friends from school. Just wish we got together often enough to be able to talk about things other than college. (We do stray into the occasional geekiness, but…)
Finally found that last Christmas gift on Saturday. After the usual awkward apartment building party that night, I went to Chiaroscuro for their closing night. Talk about a complete blowout. Over 500 people showed up. It took 5 minutes just to find somewhere to sit at one point. But the music was great, and everyone came out. So many people, that I didn’t even get to talk to some of those I knew. Took off at an “early” 2:30 to catch the last train home, though I hear the party went ’til at least 4 AM. I can’t complain about any night that ends with a kiss on the cheek from a beautiful woman, though.
Sunday was incredibly lazy, though. Really… don’t think I can point to a single productive accomplishment, outside of some text edits to a catalog I’m working on. Never touched the painting. I still want to work on it. I’m thinking if I can get enough work done during the next couple of days, I’ll cut out in the evening and paint. Or at the very least, draw.
Am I really an adult?
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!