DFW

Welcome to DFW airport. Not the same old Airport. Just the same old airport.
The accommodations are certainly nicer than they used to be. Clean, new carpets. The chairs have all been replaced over the last few years. The walls sparkle with an anesthetic whiteness that doesn’t make you think of a damn thing. Each terminal is still the size of a small third world country. But the signage is usually effective enough to keep you well informed about where you need to run.
Technology seems to be gaining a slow, grudging place in the endless corridors. Samsung has littered flat-screen TVs throughout the halls, broadcasting a nonstop feed of CNN. Internet is a joke, with just the occasional T-Mobile “hotspot”. “Executive kiosks” and web terminals sprout up here and there. DFW is immense enough that providing access in any form would be a major undertaking. But really… stick up a couple hundred repeating wifi routers above the drop ceilings. And plug it in to a redundant series of dedicated lines. Even a bandwidth bill of a couple thousand dollars a month would probably be less than what an institution like DFW pays for toilet paper in a month. But at least I have decent cell reception here, which I didn’t at Washington National.
I rode the new people-mover for the first time. The cars are larger, and much, much faster than the old trams. (I remember ticking off the minutes in my head as I imagined my connecting flight climbing into the air while I was still hoping to make it around a corner).
The choices for food are miserable. More so than even most mall food courts. Big cities tend to pride themselves on their airports, filling the halls with regional promotions, and information kiosks staffed by senior citizens in “traditional” costumes. So why is “Chili’s” about as exotic as the food gets? Does no one want to run a real restaurant with a guaranteed source of customers? Do you really want to only feed greasy food to people who are about to be locked in a small metal tube for 5 hours? (Maybe if they put coin locks on the bathroom doors…)
The intersections between terminals is a bit scary. I wandered from an intermittently populated B Terminal, into a zone so packed with travelers looking lobotamized traumatized, that you almost feel like you’re in the middle of an evacuation. But in this case, the lines are all pointed in, with people being ushered through security checkpoint to join the fray.
Gates may or may not be staffed. I’ve been here for about two hours, and have seen the ticket counter staff rotate in and out at least a half dozen times. A line formed, at one point, out beyond the rubber band barricades, while the only employee to be seen was cringing with his back to the customers, and head hung low, punching numbers on a handheld device, but not really seeming to do anything.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!

Texas and everything after

So far, this trip could almost be called pleasant. The airport employees have been cheerful. The crowds weren’t particularly bad. Waiting at the gate in DC, a woman was brought in with a service dog the size of a Buick. It must have been part great dane, though I’d never seen its coloring before; a speckle of black, white, and silver. Near as I can tell, its primary attribute was the ability to be sturdy support for a woman who was obviously less than steady.
I just knew, when I was waiting on the plane, that the woman with the baby would be my seatmate. You know, babies are babies. But she was fairly well behaved. Had the most amazing royal blue eyes… crystal clear.
DFW gets a bit nicer every time I”m here. Looks like they finally finished most, if not all, of the people-mover. A nice replacement for the old tram. This gate may just be the nearest convenient one for a shuttle bus, but it almost looks like we may be taking a plane into SJT that holds more than 8 people.
Meanwhile I’m sitting directly below a T-Mobile hotspot sign, watching the crappy connection flicker in and out. Not like I’m gonna pay for it anyway. Why the fuck do they make it so difficult to sign up, and then lock you into more of a plan than you need. Give me a screen when I open my browser where I can Choose the number of hours and enter my credit card number at a fee of maybe $2/hour. No… I have to go create an account. Sign up for a plan. Or buy a card from someone. Kinds screws with the whole on-the-fly aspect of wi-fi.
There’s a heavyset old woman, with hair color that God never dreamed of, in a straw hat/blazer outfit that a Walmart greeter would scoff at, manning the Information desk. Texas has a very weird identity. Sort of a mutual hallucination of a campy western mixed with James Dean with a Clue. All rebellious, and proud of a norman rockwellish heritage that probably never existed. Eager to have you believe they live hard and don’t take shit, even though they’re the most laid back and friendly people I’ve met. I think they’d agree with the friendly part, if it was on their terms. Remember, they became their own country before they became a US state. “We’ll get around to it when we damn well please”.
I’m acutely aware that I’m burning precious battary here, and my brain seems to have run dry for the mo’. More later. I’m off in search of open wi-fi to get my porn fix.
Note (1 day later): Putting up the first of the pics now.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!