Author Archives: Patrick Calder

Ack! Must Look Away! Bad Job, Bad!

Leave a comment | Posted by Patrick Calder on in design

Found on Monster:
You will be responsible for serving as a competent, effective member of client delivery/assignment teams. You will focus on completing client work in accordance with established plans and quality standards. Concurrently, you will focus on building your competencies in the areas of basic consulting, assignment performance, functional skills and in embracing and practicing the core values of the institution. You will also be responsible for task coordination and management and contribute recognized functional expertise to client deliverables.
Oh my fucking God…
Does the job interview come with a complimentary lobotomy that would be necessary to fit in to a place like this?

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!

The night the beach drove by

Leave a comment | Posted by Patrick Calder on in friends

7344185: the beach just drove by
Keir: huh?
7344185: the beach
7344185: it just drove by
7344185: there was a woman sunbathing on it
Keir: Ah…. I see.
7344185: big truck
7344185: flatbed
7344185: with sunlamps
7344185: and clear plastic walls
7344185: filled with Sand…
7344185: a lifeguard chair…
7344185: and a woman sunbathing
Keir: That’s kinda strange.
Keir: Neat, but strange.
7344185: what kind of oil do you think she used?
Keir: Couldn’t even begin to imagine…
Keir: Well, I could. But….
Keir: 🙂
7344185: bikini, man
7344185: it’s a nasty, dark, rainy, cold day
7344185: and the beach drove by
Keir: 🙂

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!