Rachel. That is all.

rachel.jpg How could I not love this woman? That’s Rachel, from Visqueen. The unwitting love of my life for the last year an a half. She just doesn’t know yet that she’s really in love with me. *shrug* In the mean time, they have a flickr account now, with much goodness. More than a few shots I recognize from their live shows here.
Yes. I’m back. Survived 4 and a half days without wifi. Somehow. (Okay… so the 400 k/s ethernet wasn’t bad). Survived my family, which is a bigger feat. Sadly there were no fights or embarrassing acts of a physical nature to record for posterity’s sake this years. As Michele said, “it all seemed to go by so fast”. I had even gone up a day and a half early, so that I might have some time to myself, to think deep thoughts (and download porn). Being my one year anniversary of the self-employment thing (*knock on wood*), I want to find time to go over everything I’ve done, and figure out what’s next. But all that damn meaningful family crap got in the way in Texas.
I’m trying to think of how to describe the good things about seeing family. It isn’t coming to me. It’s not the wild and crazy shit your friends and you do. It’s the people who won’t kick you out because they disturbingly understand and sympathize with the stupid shit you’ve done and the dumb-ass you’ve acted like. You share some common history of trauma, and aren’t disturbed when the other couple’s baby looks a bit like you.
A former co-worker with a obvious Australian accent made a comment once about his cross country commute, to the effect that he never unlocked his car doors while driving through Texas. “Yall’s not from ’round here, is y’all?”. Of course he was overly paranoid. It’s not like he was in the back woods of Mississippi or something. But even so, some shit down there disturbs even me. You can be guaranteed of a couple half-hushed racist comments or discussions, involving Blacks or Hispanics. I don’t get too worked up about this one. Racism, at it’s core is about opinion and attitude. And even if I happen to think its an opinion best left to inbreeding mental defectives, no matter which direction it’s coming from, it’s still their opinion, and they’re free to speak of it. I just excuse myself from the conversation or room.
The level of ignorance was a bit disturbing though. Particularly about the government and wars. It was like they were reading right from the White House press releases. Freedom. War on Terror. Those people. The monsters in that region that just wanna kill everyone. Iraq is gone… we’re safe from them now. Iraq equals 9/11. Even heard how Bush is a wimp and we need a more aggressive president. (Both Bush Jr and Clinton launched more military actions than the previous administrations for two decades back).
SO… you know… patriotism scares me. Patriotism has become loving your country no matter what. Love it or leave it. Growing up I loved this country because I believe it when they told me how free and caring we were. How we stood up and protected oppressed people, and fought back against the bullies who picked on us. If we lived up to just half of our marketing slogans…
Yeah… I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m gonna go back to looking at that picture of Rachel.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!

hot bands and dead girls

So yeah… I rambled on for a while there, about the Visqueen show, didn’t I? I really wanted to get something down that night, when it was all still fresh. But looking back… yeah.. just crap.
The show really was amazing though. I’ve never seen a better live rock band. They’re channeling the spirit of Chrissie Hynde, (who isn’t dead yet.. but you know… still…). The band takes off like a rocket with the start of each song. The music they play is so irresistible that you can’t help but rock and bounce to it. And between songs, Rachel cracks jokes and pulls stunts like your 8 year old cousin, only without the lisp. (Waiting to start one song, she started playing bongos on Ben’s snare drum. Ben was the only one not smiling.)
It was all over way too soon. Maybe too soon for Rachel too, since she was still wired when she sold me a copy of their new album. She’s kinda cute, like a Snickers bar is kinda sweet.
I’ve listened to the new album 10 or 12 times now. It’s one of those that you find something new, and it gets better with each listen. There’s a little more variety in this album, presumably showing off a bit of Rachel’s range, (as Kim has nothing to prove, and drummers seldom get the spotlight). Nearly every song in there has a great hook. There’s so many potential radio smash hits. The only thing that mystifies me about the album, besides the disappointing cover art, is the arrangement of the songs. The first song is good, but probably the least memorable of the bunch. Not something I would lead off with. And while I really like the last song, it’s really as close to a downer as you can get with pop music. Do you really wanna finish off on such a depressing note?
Then again, it’s not like I won’t spend most of my time listening to this set on random on my iPod.
No sophomore jinx here.

So I was listening to music at random last weekend. Belly’s Feed the Tree came on. For the first time, I realized Tonya Donnally was singing about dying. And tonight I realized just how weirdironicfunny that is. I went to a Belly concert back in the mid-nineties, with Anita. That song always stands out when I hear it, because that concert was when i realized Anita and I were drifting apart for good. Probably the last chance I had to really spent time with her.
And then she died in the plane crash.
And for years, unbeknownst to me, I am reminded of her by a song about death.

And speaking of morbid, I briefly talked with Jill the other night, for the first time in probably a year. I still get that oh-so-pleasent feeling of the ex who would rather cut your various organs out with a rusty spoon but have decided that they will behave like an adult. It’s really kind of sad. Well… scary, and then sad. Given time, I can accept that the “dating” thing wasn’t gonna work out for X reasons. But we started ‘dating’, or whatever you’d call it, because our talks nearly every night were so amazing. I’ve unfortunately proven that I can go without sex like a camel can go without water. But to lose someone I can really talk with… that breaks my heart.
I managed to stay good friends with Sara afterwards. And even Kelly and I seem to hold no hard feelings anymore. (Granted… they both lasted considerably longer). But if I ever felt like someone was giving me the evil eye over the ‘Net, it would be Jill.

In the range more of coming back to life…
I got an email last night from Erin. Erin, from college, who I haven’t seen nor heard from in over 7 years. Erin who now seems to be very successful and very attractive. Not necessarily in that order. (Don’t look at me like that… I haven’t really talked to her in seven years; so I won’t vouch for her personality).
God bless Google. Every time I look up someone from my past, they inevitably have irretrievably disappeared. Even Allison, who is supposedly working just a few blocks from me, at the FBI headquarters. But I found an online sighting dated February of this year. A little more searching got me and email… and *bang*.
Now about these other women…

  • Allison Miller — last rumored to be working for the FBI in the Washington DC area
  • Janie Hyler — Last known to be in California with her dad, or Amsterdam with her mom
  • Anna Koblinski — no clue as to her whereabouts
  • Michelle Rink — now married with a new last name, living somewhere in the south after leaving the military. Had a letter from her once, but I lost it

Anyone have any clues? I really have so many people in my past that I lost touch with that it’s insane.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!

All things Visqueen

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sorry… Drew Carey is hosting a talk show. But at least he’s talking to Zack Braff about Garden State; which if you haven’t seen — drop the baby and go now.
VisqueenJust got back from the Velvet Lounge. Finally got to see Visqueen. Two words: Absolutely Fucking Amazing. (Bite me! I can’t count.) I kinda went brain-dead when I saw them loading from their van out front. ‘Cause Kim Warnick is someone I’ve only ever seen in pictures, on many, many CD covers. Suddenly, there’s a whole person there in front of you… moving. (This is as opposed to the time I saw Donald Rumesfeld… cause he more sort of rumbles rather than moves.) There were times where Kim really seemed to be enjoying herself up there. Something you sadly don’t see much of from touring bands.And yes… Rachel is even more beautiful in real life. Incredibly cute. Terminally hopped up on caffeine or something. And a real smart-ass attitude like the future rock-goddess that she is. Ben… not much to say… but he beat those drums like the eternal red-headed stepchild. He goes absolutely apeshit back there.
The velvet lounge is really sort of a neighborhood dive. Looks like it could have been an eyeglass store 30 years ago, before it got taken over by drunk people with markers and paint who like loud music. The bar looks like something you’d find in a dorm room. the upper level is probably better looking in the dark, since there was no real ceiling or anything, and a questionable floor. The stage takes up about a third of the room. This, I didn’t find to be a bad thing. It means I got within sweat-slinging range of the band, who actually urged people closer.
Were they loud enough? I don’t really know, because I lost my hearing completely about halfway through the set.
My only regret is that Rachel still doesn’t seem willing to admit how much she lusts after me. I’m sure it will come to her someday. I’m patient.
And oh yes… damn right I bought the last copy of their new CD which comes out tomorrow. Then I got the fuck out of dodge before the people in line behind me found out.
And yes… I come home and geek out for a while to Sara, who can understand my unnatural addiction to music. Check my email, and find out Xtrememac is sending me a replacement belt-clip for my iPod case, free. Go Xtrememac! Their cases just kick ass, and their customer service has always been wonderful.
Okay… it will soon be 2 AM, and I want to get up early tomorrow to go see the parade of Indian Nations on the Mall. Must… sleep. Damn. ringing in my ears.
I can think of worse ways to go deaf than listening to Visqueen live.

Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!