One for all the teeny-bopper activists out there:
Che2k
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Monthly Archives: January 2003
hitman blowjob
best comic discussion comment ever:
I’ve never put out for comics before … but if someone would give me a full run of “Hitman,” I’d give’em a big sloppy blowjob.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
different
Why do we do stupid shit?
Why do I buy a bath tub mat? Because my bath tub is made out of a material that stains too easily. If we have the ability to make a silky shirt that is essentially bullet proof, I don’t believe for a second they can’t make a bathtub that won’t stain if I don’t scrub it every week.
I buy one more thing, cause something else I’m already paying for doesn’t do what it probably should, but I accept that.
It’s true that my landlord would probably be upset if i ripped out my shower. And I probably ought to be thrilled that they’re replacing the beautiful granite lobby with a beautiful marble lobby.
But it’s one more stone in the foundation of me wanting to be…
different.
It’s not self hatred or self improvement. I am already pretty damn good, thank you. And I’m getting better all the time.
Consider it a loathing of humanity in general. You’re average participant in my view of life couldn’t think their way out of a wet paper bag. One too many times, I’ve walked down the left side of a nearly empty 20-foot-wide sidewalk only to have the person coming from the opposite direction step into the street to ensure they could pass me on their right. Because my feet were essentially frozen in place yesterday, I was forced to listen to an activist explain how the funds we intend to use for war should be spent on helping our enemies instead; that these problems would go away if only we’d improve their education and help them develop their cultures. (If you ain’t got Tivo, you ain’t nothin’). Please, get your world view from someplace other than reruns of M*A*S*H. I stood in a crowd yesterday that literally stretched for , but the Post told me today there were “tens of thousands” of people there.
You are all diseased and inbred. If not physically, then intellectually. Not only do you all read and listen to the same sound-bite news-stories, but you don’t even care how often they are revealed to be lying to you.
If you haven’t asked “why?” to anything in as long as you can remember, then please, get out of my way because I trying to evolve.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Rumesfeld meets Saddam
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Future City Museum
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Snow
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
I had plans today.
Eastern Market. Hopefully pick up the photo from Joe. Check out the pet store.
And groceries of course. Haven’t had fresh food in nearly a month now. Getting a little sick of peanut butter.
But this snow is coming down. I don’t see it stopping any time soon. And I cannot imagine anyone left with an outside spot at Eastern Market. And if the market is closed, do I feel like going over there just for the pet store.
Hell. I barely feel like going out for groceries.
Leave this nice warm apartment were I can watch the snow through the massive bay windows, to trudge through it all, cold, wet, windy.
And the church bells somewhere nearby are playing a song I know, but can’t remember.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Penn Gillette
” Last Thursday I was flying to LA on the Midnight flight. I went through security my usual sour stuff. I beeped, of course, and was shuttled to the “toss-em” line. A security guy came over. I assumed the position. I had a button up shirt on that was untucked. He reached around while he was behind me and grabbed around my front pocket. I guess he was going for my flashlight, but the area could have loosely been called “crotch.” I said, “You have to ask me before you touch me or it’s assault.”
“He said, “Once you cross that line, I can do whatever I want.”
“I said that wasn’t true. I say that I have the option of saying no and not flying. He said, “Are you going to let me search you, or do I just throw you out?”
“I said, “Finish up, and then call the police please.” “
— Penn Gillette
I think I love this man.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Sin
I finally went to the Animal Shelter last week, looking for a cat. And I was right; the right one just stands out. As soon as I saw her, I was in love with this animal. A beautiful cinnamon-colored Abyssinian.
I only hope I can get her. They still have to hold it in case the owner claims it. That won’t happen. It already sat on a window ledge for 5 days before someone brought it to the Shelter.
Monday will be six days since my visit, so I will call them back and check. And hopefully proceed with the adoption.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Scales and weight.
Someone bought me a scale for Christmas. I dunno if this was supposed to be a hint. But if so, it backfired.
I was surprised 6 months ago to find out I hadn’t changed weight since college. And when I was given the scale last month, I immediately checked again, and even in full clothing, I was in my college range.
This morning, I locked the doors, barred the windows, drew the shades, cover the picture of Jesus, unplugged the TV, activated the white noise generator, and weighed myself in the buff, to get a true measure of my weight.
178.5 lbs.*
so nyah!
(*When you you stand 6’3″, this weight is not as bad as it sounds, thank you. Last time I checked, the ideal weight charts at that height gave a range of 175 through 195 lbs.)
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Stupid Spam
If you have to finish all your emails explaining how they are not truly Spam, then they are Spam.
If you base your defense about how they’re not Spam on legislation pending in Congress, you’re stupid. Congress can talk about killing whitey and shafting the spics. Nothing they say matters until it is passed as law.
And what fucking possible good can there be to your product if you have to lie, cheat, and deceive people to even get them to read about it. Americans are sheep and will put up with an obscene amount of advertising, but don’t screw with their minds and not expect them to come after you with Pa’s shotgun.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Mom’s Christmas Tree
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!
Christmas
2 dvds: Three Kings and As Good as it Gets
3 cds: Joan Osbourne – Early Recordings; Allanis Morrisette – Jagged Little Pill; Grosse Pointe Blank Soundtrack
1 book: Beyond This Horizon by Robert Heinlein
2 calendars
Coca Cola stuff: bottle, gummy bears, tin sign, vintage ads, painted glass marble
One DVD Player
cat stuff: toys, catnip, scoop, collar, food
2 hammers: (I asked for a 10 oz, which they couldn’t find, so they got a 12 oz and an 8 oz to balance it out.)
100 blank CDs
4 shirts, and a sweater
not a bad haul. Thanks, people.
Please keep in mind that this post is more than 6 years old. Who the hell knows what I was thinking back then?! Damn kids... get off my lawn!