Strange
Day

What the hell do I call my company?
It’s a stupid little thing that I absolutely hate obsessing over. It’s such a ridiculous detail. But I need to get business cards printed. I need to put up a website and get email working.
I do want something I won’t mind seeing and saying a million times in the future. It has to lend itself to an easily understandable domain name when spoken. I should be interesting but not obscure. And it wouldn’t hurt if it was meaningful about about a new stage/change. Maybe something meaningless, but interesting?
I’ve never liked the idea of naming your company after yourself. Too many people assume you work by yourself. And most people I know who use their name have a hard time separating their business from themselves.
Among the “this is a new stage/thing in my life” ideas, I’ve only really had two half decent ones: Breakaway Design and Dream Designs.
I considered Emanon as a cop-out, but rather quickly discarded it. (Emanon = NoName).
Having loved William Gibson’s last book, Pattern Recognition, I half considered using Blue Ant. It falls well on the meaningless category. I do think you need to be careful with the meaningless, though.
I’m trying to think of anything from any book I loved. Not a whole lot of usable names, though, for a respectable business. Especially as most of my reading lately has been cyberpunk. Would you do business with Chiba Design or DatAmerica? I don’t think so.
I have a friend who used Serif Design. Some little professional word is interesting. But outside of serif… what is there? Pica Design? T-square communications? Maybe Ligature?
(I actually kind of like that last one)

Not to mention, that every successful businessperson I’ve ever heard speak suggests, that once you’ve found your passion, You write down your goals and how you plan to achieve them.
You don’t have to like Trump as a person to see that he knows business. Something my last boss never quite grasped.
Though y personal taste in bazillionaires runs more towards Richard Branson of Virgin.

I’m seriously into starting my own business. I am in a kind-of-forced-self-instigated-leaving-of-my-job thing. I’ve got about 3 weeks left before I HAVE to go. (Which conveniently coincides with both an annual trip and my upcoming jury duty.) After that… nothing.
I started out looking for a job. Duh. Applied for some truly cool openings. But besides never hearing from anyone, I know my heart was never fully in it either. I’ve been six and a half years at a job that was more social challenge than professional career building. (I’ll take up the issue of “careers” later.) I can’t see myself immediately dropping into another company where it’s someone else’s vision.
I’ve been quietly egged on for a couple years now by a local photographer to start my own business. I always dismissed the notion, because I have no experience selling myself, (insert joke here). But when he mentioned it again about 2 weeks ago, for the first time since I found out my old job was coming to an end, the idea took hold. In just a day or two, I was seriously considering the idea. In less than a week, I was seeking out advice from a friend who runs their own design business. I have since asked for feedback from many of my closest friends and relatives.
The advice has been cautious, but encouraging. The idea feels right. The work, while challenging, is in no way a stretch. I have proven I have every skill necessary, except for the selling. And even in that area, I’ve had limited success when allowed, at my current job.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of research online. Online research is the modern equivalent of running for the encyclopedia. Unlike the anonymous blurb you get from an encyclopedia, though, the web is still a little bit of the wild, wild west. You got people selling, and people searching for gold, and people out to take advantage of the unprepared, just like the old west. But the beauty is in the anarchy.
“I’ve got my opinion and the biggest microphone mankind has ever invented, so let me tell you something.”
The most useful stuff here inevitably comes from the little person stealing time in their cubicle, who was upset that there was no officially sanctioned solution, and solved it for themself. Through ego, or altruism, they put their newborn idea out there and see if it sticks.
Many people now use the web to document their projects, their work, or their research. I’ve even found answers to my own problems within my website, most recently when I couldn’t remember when I last served on jury duty.
Many companies are also starting to have … slice of life … weblogs. More often than not, they tend to be more about justifying their business decisions. (Never justify, or you’ll make an ASS out of U and ME.)
All this in mind, along with my unnatural obsession for openness and sharing, a thought popped into my head the other day. There’s not much else up there, so you know, it kind of stood out.
So the idea was, to document this all. Not the corporate, ‘look at us, we know what a blog is’ thing. It’s doubtful I will ever even link this journal to the company in any solid way. Call it a what to do/not-to-do manual. Call it a place to sort through everything. Call it whatever you want.
But this is my dream.

Found on Monster:
You will be responsible for serving as a competent, effective member of client delivery/assignment teams. You will focus on completing client work in accordance with established plans and quality standards. Concurrently, you will focus on building your competencies in the areas of basic consulting, assignment performance, functional skills and in embracing and practicing the core values of the institution. You will also be responsible for task coordination and management and contribute recognized functional expertise to client deliverables.
Oh my fucking God…
Does the job interview come with a complimentary lobotomy that would be necessary to fit in to a place like this?

taxes taxes taxes.
well at least it is Victoria’s-Secret-catalog-day. and a swimsuit issue no less.

What the hell happened to today? My whole sense of time just shifted. Since I forgot to do my laundry last night, I dragged my butt out of bed early this morning to finish it. (Actually I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, but there was no way in hell I was dealing with soiled underwear at that time of day).
So for a change, I actually accomplished something before work. Normally I’m lucky to get my shoes on before 9 AM.
Monday mornings usually slip by due to our staff meeting, which breaks up the time. But by the time my body started saying ‘lunch’, I looked at the clock to see that it was 1:30 already. I didn’t actually eat till 2, followed by a meeting at three. Then I just worked on smoe projects for the next two hours.
I guess it was all there. But it… *ftt*… right by.

I looked at my reflection in the elevator button panel. And of course I thought…
“Damn, I’m beautiful.”
Maybe I need to cut back on the sugar.
I went into work today to set up the computers for a new employee who’s starting tomorrow. And man, if I didn’t mooch out everything in that office of any value for use in my office. I have a new stereo, computer and monitor stand. I was generous and left them the lamp. New people really get left with the shit.

I’ve got this nasty feeling that someday my museings here are going to come back to bite me on the ass. All these commentaries and babblings are so public, that someday they will come back to haunt me when I am working for a very delicate position or purrpose.
But that isn’t going to stop me. I’d hate to think that I’ll ever allow myself to be in a situation where I can’t freely express my own views when appropriate.

Cool shit… we’ve got 4 sub-leasees now for our new office.
A photographer, some CPAs, a data mining company, and a magazine.
And a verbal agreement to rent our old office. It’s much easier on the nerves to know you won’t be responsible for rent on empty offices.
Missed my haircut though. *grumble*
My own office… so sweet.

I am tired fer shit. Just generally worn out. Didn’t physically wear myself out really… but still worn thin.
We’re packed to move. Stayed around until the dismantlers came late and finished. I’ll be back in the morning to reassemble the network. Fuckin DSL wont be up for 3 days at best, more likely 2 weeks.
shit, I need to go look up how to set up this network.

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…
okay… couldnt get that out of my mind. 🙂
he-ya… finally moving at work. into a major nice new office. custom built for us. and hot damn I have my own office. well.. for now. Will eventually share it with someone else, but until they get hired, I’m safe.
The windows are great, at least in the front of the building. It’s so bright in those offices the lights make no difference. I chose my particular office for the view, managing to avoid having to look at our old building every day. My view will actually cover the top floors of this great old office building with an ornate roof.
We had a circular conference room built … sort of a cross between your childhood club house and a UFO. we’ve got 20 or so offices, a kitchen, a store room etc.
and the shit hits the fan tommorrow… At 1, we attack!
Well, the packing anyways.
Actually my only duty for the next 2 days is to strip down the computers, see them safely moved, and then reassemble them (and the networking hardware). It’s not easy being a geek. 🙂
Stacey’s birthday is in a few days. I’m sure she thinks I forgot. (Hell, I did forget Sara’s after all).
I need food.

okay… maybe that child care thing didnt come through… but my taxes are still messed up, or not messed up, depending on how you look at it. Either way, I stand to make some lump some money i think/hope. I finally found the address for sara’s journal page today… got to read most of the stuff for the first time. funny… made me realize why I love her even more.

mmmm… comic book day. (sorry… homer simpson flashback)

splain something to me. you know that little box on your tax forms that says “if you do not need forms mailed to you next year, check here”? Well… I checked it last year… cause I moved out of New York. So what do they do? I just got a letter from the New York Tax Department saying ‘since you didnt want new york tax forms mailed to you, we’re going to mail you a sticker for your new york tax forms’

okay… I remember what i wanted to talk about now…

just when the hell did God say unto man, “you will be a will-less sap. all who claim to represent me may control your life”. All my life Ive seen and heard people support their beliefs and agendas by quoting the Bible. Hasnt this ever occured to anyone to be pretty damn flimsy? Hey… Im a rightous, God-loving dude myself… but why, may I ask, does some 2000 year old guy’s interpretation of religion give some bastard in Georgia the right to condem all homosexuals to hell? Ive done some reading in the book myself… lots of nice stories, with morals and everything. Some songs too. But I gotta tell ya, theres damn few places that even claim to be the exact word of God. And what about those that do? If Jethro, the plumber from two doors down the hall, claimed God said unto him, “blessed are the geek, for they shall inherit the earth”, does that mean you’ll start worshipping Bill Gates as the new messiah?

The Bible is a good thing to read. It has a lot of suggestions on how to lead a moral life. But come on… think for yourself. Religion offers one of the best opportunities out there for intellectual debate. But so many people become bogged down in the scripture, they cant decide if some millenia old lifestyle might not be relavent anymore.

They told me once in Sunday School, when trying to explain evil, that God put us down here, and gave us free will. It made things more meaningful that way. If someone gives their devotion to him because theyve weighed the options, its gotta be worth more than if he compelled worship from the masses.

So right about now you’re asking yourself, “What ever happened to that cute boy who wrote those wonderfull essays?”. The answer being of course, he grew up and changed his named to Mark Twain. As for what Ive been doing… well, once upon a time:

Lets see, I think January was the last time I wrote here. On the fifth of that month, I started a new job at DKG. A very cool place if I do say so, (which i think i just did). Have some great people to work with. A boss who trusts me and respects my opinion, an art director crazier than I am, and a bunch of other people who just dont seem to fit in anywhere else.

And let’s not forget about Pizza Day! The wonderful time each week when the big guy opens his wallet for a domino’s catered lunch. (nothing but the best for our boys outta uniform)

Anyways, onto hopefully more sane thoughts.

Dispite some second, third, and fourth thoughts, I’m still here. A rough spring trying to decide what I was becoming. Final decision? Too introspective.

*** big deleted babbleing ***

told ya I was too introspective.

So fastforward, ummmmm, 6 months. I step into my new apartment and cant believe how good everything looks.Im still getting adjusted. But something nagging the edges of my mind has been sated. I probably proved something to myself. All i know is, I have a job I enjoy going to every day, people I love and who reciprocate, and a nice apartment in the capital of everything.

*** quiet moment waiting ***

back again (and a sexy back if I do say so myself!)

but onto something more realistic.

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!

yes…. another miracle in the life of the terminally pessamistic. Worked for a few days at a design studio here in downtown DC. They hired me! Mucho nice people. And they’re givin me a chance when I dont think the first interview went too well.

*hint**hint* so give em lotsa business so I wont get laid off!

Still doesnt make me feel any better about the job search process. College never prepared me for reality. Companies were curt and even rude. And for some reason, all those close to me felt I should be doing something to make them happy, by moving here, or visiting there. But I chose to be conceited and do what was right for me. (Awful, aint I?) But considering the number of breakdowns I had in just that amount of time, Im glad I didnt do anything to make it last longer.

Now…. here we go again… I gotta find an apartment.

but anywayyyyssss…

like everyone else in thestates, I went home for Christmas. This of course means I once again reminded myself why I left home.

my family is nuts. either that, or they make me nuts. a little of both I think. We had a cheezy family party on the 26th, which is just a time for people who are related to get together and ignore each other, or try to show each other up. Meanwhile, my parents spend the week second guessing all the decisions Im makeing. I’ve been doing good so far, I think I’ll trust myself for a little while longer. I can hardly stand watching my parents lives anyways. They seem to be a long series of complaints about how unfair life is, meanwhile, they do nothing. Literally nothing. They work there less than enjoyable jobs, come home, eat, and go to sleep. I’ve seen each of them have a chance at a better life, and each of them let it fall away.

I cant live like that. I can barely watch someone else live like that. They do nothing, want nothing, give nothing, to make their lives meaningfull. I gotta do something with myself.

Yes, I do love my parents.

People are stupid. No longer are we the mindless masses of sheep we have been compared to in the past. The sheep, in my opinion, have more common sense.

Look around you. Goerge Orwell wasnt telling a story with his book, 1984. He was predicting the future. Par Example:

The News is no longer reported. News is now created. It is cleached, dry-cleaned, and prepackaged for our consuming. Everyone knows a princess died, but how many front page articles were there on the death of probably the only modern-day saint? Everyone knows President Clinton slept around, and tried pot, but who remembers anymore that he made it possible for homosexuals to serve in the armed forces, or that he actually managed to lower the national defecit. We know the verdict in the Lorena Bobbit case, but did Sya Rivezfar ever get forced to return to her mothers home where she had been raped and forced to watch her sister’s murder?

Who works for who? Read the Constitution some time. It tells you of a government for the for the benefit of the people, and responsible to those same citizens. But I dont see that any more. I dare you to find someone who doesnt have an evil tone to their voice when they say the word “government”. Without ever hearing a snigle voice of support for it, the CDA was passed into law, convincing parents that it would protect THE FAMILY from an evil, invisible menace. Doesn’t it strike anyone else as ironic that this government openly admits to having secrets it wont tell it’s citizens? So much for “of the people, for the people, by the people”.

Are you being watched? No? Dont be so sure. Did you see the video cameras attached to bridges that keep track of people who speed or run red lights? They aren’t a conspiracy rumor anymore, they’ve been reported on Prime Time Television. Or the new use for these cameras; using them to monitor trouble spots in towns, in hopes of cutting down on drugs and illicit dealings. Cameras arent the only observation devices. Do you realize just how much information you broadcast everytime you surf the web? Or does it occur to you that someone is gathering all the information each time you pay with a credit card, or use that supermarket discount card. The security system that protects your belongings also lets someone know exactly when you are in and out of your house. And as anyone who has had to fill out federal or college paperwork knows, our Social Security Numbers are hardly the vaults of privacy they once were.

This is only the beginning. But where does the betterment of society end and our privacy begin?

Well, welcome to my inane little ramblings. I dont know wether it’s ego or bordom that drive me to posting my thoughts where all the world can read them.
Guess its pointless to ponder now.
So tell me, does anyone out there actually think job hunting is easy or fun? You know how sick I can get of writing cover letters, resumes, making phone calls, all this… just to hear them say we were looking for someone with other qualifications. (Why the he11 didn’t you say that in the job listing!) Or the places that feel the need to hold a 6 month review process just to hire someone for an entry level job. Though entry level is fairly reletive these days. Seems most people want someone for those positions to have a PHD in Astrophysics.
I graduated from one of the best schools in the country for Graphic Design with my degree right on time. So according to TV and the on-campus job-placement office, I should already be employed and shopping at the Gap.
What’s that phrase Im looking for? mmmmmmmmm……oh yeah:
HAH!
Someone out there wanna take pity on a poor soul who seems to have lost his mind through extended exposure to the modern educational institution?